Monday, April 11, 2011

Meeting the Head Casting Director of CBS!!!

With a Xerox photo in hand, I am meeting Fern Orenstein. Not where the red fern grows but the head casting director of CBS. I just hope that she will not notice the black and white photo of me as a mere teenager. Why do I have to be the only actor in class with an old photo? Everyone appears to have color photos that are age appropriate. Fern is a pretty blond lady who is very sweet and nice. Thank you God!!!!
She has a stack of photos in hand and is going through all the photos. She holds up a hot British guys photo and says he can easily play leading man roles. He definitely has the look. I met the Brit outside before class and he said I looked like his friend Joanne Wally Kilmer. Compliment. Winning. I will look her up on my crack berry to see who she is. Just to make sure it is a compliment. Wow, this actress is pretty. Has dark hair but definitely gave me a lovely self esteem boost. Maybe we will get a scene.

Dear God:

Please let Fern cast me as the hot Brit guys leading lady and he has to kiss me.


Moulin Rouge.

Fern is going through the stack and telling all the actors what job type they are. There's lots of Senator wives, white trash, attorney assistant, doctor and quirky. She is now holding my photo in her hand. It kind of is dangling as she gives me the "are you kidding me" look. I turn red the eyes on a vampire. I wish I had magical powers right now to escape what she is about to say. Nope. I take the criticism for the photo like a champ. No need to tell her my long actor story about what's in my wallet. She continues in my marketability. She tells me I look like I can easily play a victim. You mean the person at the beginning of CSI who gets killed? Ahhhh??? Wait. Wait. She continues. Yes. Yes. Waiting. Waiting for it. I'm a strong female drama type. "Ohhhh, I'm a strong female drama type. Hurray!" Who needs comedy when the head of CBS casting says you are a strong female drama type: Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Kate Winselt & Moulin Rouge. "Oh, hello. That's me."
So, I get paired up with the really cute young actor who plays funny. I get to play Mary from the movie "Dumb & Dumber." Cool. She's pretty and she's sooo cute in the movie. I get to play a comedy scene with Joshey. He has the driving dialogue part of the scene and I have the 1 liners and do all the listening. Fern loved Josey in the scene. She said he was great. The audience loved him. We'll....I was told I did a great job of playing nervous. That is was I was suppose to do in the scene. It looks like I get a Oscar for getting the most victim roles on the planet earth. I smoke these scenes. No lighter needed.
We'll maybe if I had a current photo, I would have got cast with hot leading guy instead of pubescent, scene stealing boy. Note to self. Get photos. Need money. Wish I was Brad Pitt and Angelina's adopted kid. I would have all kinds of dough for photos. No such luck. Dratts. I'm a victim again. Lovable, adorable, castable, me. See you as the killed victim on CSI or NCIS. Who knows, I just might live as the strong female lead one day and help track down who is the killer.



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